High Maintenance Anonymous / PMBs

Signs found in our offices/homes
... and other words to live by ...

Sign seen at Dry Cleaners (for real): Drop your pants here now... Receive prompt attention! (Marzisgal 1/29/05)

I have an attitude and a gun which one would you prefer? (Marzisgal 12/25/04)

Do you see the little man in my eye, jumping up and down, screaming "I care"? No? THEN GO AWAY (Marzisgal 12/24/04)

When nothing else works... WHINE! (SCRedrangr 12/23/04)

Obsessive? I don't know the meaning of the word! (Princessa's Creed)

Whining turns to WINNING in Tri-Peaks!

And your crybaby whiny opinion would be?

Thank you for NOT being perky.

On second thought, NO again.

Don't question authority. THEY DON'T KNOW EITHER.

I didn't say it was your fault. I SAID I was going to blame YOU.

Never put off till tomorrow what you can ignore entirely.

Do I look like a people person?

Don't annoy the crazy person

Get Over It.

I don't do PERKY.

I'm only here to annoy.

Tough times don't last, tough people do.

This isn't an office. It's hell with fluorescent lighting.

I pretend to work. They pretend to pay me.

A cubicle is just a padded CELL without a DOOR.

Can I trade this job for what's behind Door #1?

I thought I wanted a career. Turns out I just wanted a PAYCHECK.

How about NEVER? Is NEVER good for you?

I have plenty of talent and vision. I just don't care.

I'll try to be nicer IF you'll try to be smarter.

I'm out of my mind BUT feel free to leave a message.

No problem is so large or so difficult that it can't be blamed on someone else.

Try a little kindness. As LITTLE as possible.

I'm not TENSE, just terribly, terribly alert!

It's only unethical if you get caught.

If at first you don't succeed, TRY MANAGEMENT.

What am I? Flypaper for freaks?

Ahhh. I see the screw-up fairy has visited us again.

If jackasses could fly, this place would be an airport.

NOT A MORNING PERSON doesn't even begin to describe it.

I got out of bed for THIS?

80% of success is JUST SHOWING UP.

It's lonely at the top but you eat better.

When I want your opinion, I'll beat it out of you.

It IS as bad as you think and they ARE out to get you.

Make it idiot proof and someone will make a better idiot.

Some days, I just don't feel like slaying dragons.

The BUCK doesn't even slow down here.

Am I supposed to be impressed?

I don't do DECAF.

Department of Redundancy Department

Another deadline, Another miracle.

Sarcasm: just one more service we offer.